The Bubblah

Chelsea Piers. March 31st, 2006. A legendary bowling competition.

We played 3 games. Shira, Glenn, Danyael, and I. I have a bowling history that, when studied, would reveal that I am the most inconsistent bowler this side of the Mississippi.

Game 1. I was terrible until the last few frames when I managed to salvage a 2nd place finish with something in the 60s. Not good. None of us are professionals here.

Game 2. Easily the best bowling performance of my life. A number of strikes and spares…I ended this game around 160. I’ll never top that.

Game 3. Let’s play teams. Danyael and I vs Shira and Glenn. Combine our scores. Fine. I’m playing somewhere in the middle of games 1 and 2. We get to the 10th frame for everyone. Last turn. Team Awesome (Danyael and I) are up by 4. Danyael is up first and pulls a solid 7. We are up by 11. Glenn is up and gets a 9. We’re up 2. Shira is up and throws the only thing that can really save them…a strike. Are you kidding? She finishes out and all of a sudden Team Awesome in on the brink, down by 14, with just Mr. Inconsistent up. I need at least a spare to stay alive. First ball. 7. Now the pressure is on. Need to get the 3 other pins. As if watching Rudy get in the game for the kickoff, the ball rolls down the alley in slow motion (which I swear I don’t know how I did). One pin. Two pins. 3 pins. SPARE. Are you kidding me? Now I have 1 more shot. I need a good roll here to take this one home. Number 9. Number 9. Number 9. Team Awesome wins…can you believe it???

Neither can I.

Sometimes dreams do come true.

As if the English language wasn’t already confusing, I believe we have reached the end of road as far as words go and is now time to create some new ones. There are new things invented all the time and new technologies used to do all sorts of stuff constantly. It only seems natural to me that there should be some new words to go along with this stuff. Now, people have been making up these types of words for some time. They are called Sniglets and Bert Christensen has a site with tons of words for your educational pleasure.

I think it is time for us to take the next step…and here are the words to do it with.

Your beloved Quench Blauthor,
Matt

“In case of an emergency, please find the nearest exit and calmy leave the building.”

Nah…I think I’ll run around, ignore 4 or 5 more convenient exits, for something much harder to get to. And then I’ll panic.

So there’s Mayor Bloomberg at the press conference telling people its ok…they have the proper equipment to handle the snow. “Don’t worry, we’ll get rid of the snow and then worry about how to pay for it later.” Ah…I think I’m in New York City where there has been more snow on a dealer’s mirror than on the ground this winter. Something tells me we’re under budget on the snow removal front. Then…THEN he says…”I mean, I woke up to what I thought was a weird sounding plow and I realized, it was thunder! We have a real storm here!”

Well, there certainly is a lot of snow on the ground and this was by far the biggest storm of the season so far but everyone just take a deep breath. I’ve been around for quite a few snow storms so far in my life but this is the first time I’ve been in NYC for one. I don’t see what all the fuss is about. I’ve been sitting on a couch all day and it turns out, you can get anything delivered. This stuff is easy. In Boston, I have to walk uphill, BOTH WAYS, through 10 feet of snow just to check my mail, let alone get an eggplant parmigiana when I ordered a chicken parmigiana.

Shovel it!

PS Yes, we made them bring the chicken.

The odds that you’d have the same birthday as your mother are about 1 in 365 or around 0.27%. My mother and I have the same birthday. Up until recently, I only knew of 1 other family where a child and parent had the same birthday. Well, guess who else has the same birthday as their mother? If you guessed Danyael, my girlfriend, you’d be correct. She has the same birthday as her mother.

Isn’t that odd?

You know when you’re waiting at a red traffic light? Is it so much to ask for that if you’re in the first slot, that you pause the hair and makeup session and just focus on the task at hand?

Yesterday I was 3rd in line at the light. Light turns green…1 one-thousand, 2 one-thousand, 3 one-thousand…what is going on??? Why aren’t we moving? 4 one-thousand, 5 one-thousand, 6 one-thousand. I look at the first car and sure enough, the driver is doing her hair in the mirror. No movement. Now I’m getting frustrated with driver of car #2 also. There was a clear breakdown of responsibility here:

Car #3 (me in this case) should never have to do anything. Turns out that we would have missed the entire green if I hadn’t “reminded” car #1 and car #2 of their responsibilities. The good news is that I made it through that green light but I would have been very upset had I not.

One more thing for the road…10 out of 10 times, when the driver of car #1 realizes their blunder, they will floor the gas as if they were in a drag race and this display will somehow make up for the irresponsibility. News flash: it doesn’t.

Pave attention.

I have some great news.

Tonight I did my laundry. No, that’s not the great news.

All the socks paired up. I have no extras. No phantom sock disappearance. 100% pair rate. This is fantastic news and the first time I can remember this happening. Congratulations to me.

So I was wrong about the Patriots making it to the Superbowl this year. That’s fine. They had a great season and as a fan of the team, its hard to complain about how they played this season given all the stuff they had to work through.

The game tonight proved once again that a team can’t make big mistakes and expect to win. The thing that annoyed me the most about this game was that after every tackle that the Broncos made, you could see Denver players helping the Patriot players up. It was pretty frustrating to watch how seemingly sportsman-like the Bronco players were. Whatever happened to kicking the other team when they were down and spitting in their faces? PLEASE! If I see Ian Gold help Corey Dillon up one more time I’m gonna puke.

Anyway, I’m over it. We as Patriot fans have been spoiled by all this winning so maybe its good to take a break from it…so we can truly appreciate the success we’ve gotten to enjoy. Whatever. See you in Miami next year.

I once wrote a little something about some of the issues I have with the English language and I was thinking about it again so I decided it was time for me to revisit it in what will probably be a very exciting multi-part saga. Everyone knows learning languages is a difficult thing to do. Every language has its nuances and challenges. I’d write about other languages but I don’t know them really. English is the only language I speak wicked good. Today’s theme…letters.

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

I’m not sure we need all of them.

x – why? Box…how about bocks. What’s wrong with that? Oh, I know…

bocs…no need for the k. It has the same sound as c.

q – don’t need it. Our least independent letter…can’t go anywhere without the u and even when it does go out, it sounds like a ‘k‘…or rather a ‘c‘. Quick…change it cwic.

So I propose that we get rid of ‘x‘, ‘k‘, and ‘q‘.

Put that in your zerocs machine and copy it. How cwaint.

Tomorrow begins what will hopefully be the playoff run that brings the Patriots and their 4th Superbowl win in the last 5 seasons. That would be pretty impressive considering the crazy amount of injuries and would-be distractions through this season. Let’s take a look at some of the goings-on this season so far:

So tomorrow night, the Patriots will beat the Jaguars. Then they will beat Denver…in Denver. Then they will go to Indianapolis and beat the Colts and then head straight to Detroit to beat the Seahawks. Mark it in your blog.

FYI, Shawn Alexander won the MVP…fine. He was on my fantasy football team and was great. He had an awesome season. Kudos. Tom Brady should have won. Glenn Ordway on WEEI made a good point today on the radio…last year, Peyton Manning won because even though Tom Brady had more wins, Peyton had better numbers. That’s what people were saying. Fine. I can accept that reasoning. This year, Tom had better numbers and Peyton had more wins but Peyton still finished ahead of Tom in the voting. Hypocrits. Oh yeah, Shawn Alexander is a great running back on a great team with a great offensive line in a crappy conference. Take Alexander away from his team…they are most likely still just as successful. Take Brady or Manning away from their teams…no chance.

Tom Brady for MVP.

Recount.

Go Pats!